Wednesday, July 19, 2006

November 15th to November 22nd

Mood - Light and fluffy

(Note to self:
Try to get that Evita song out your head ASAP!)

Scaryness abounds still. I must have bags under my eyes the size of Gilderoy's clothing collection... No sleep at all. Well, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, since I was able to drop off for 3 hours last night, but other than that... Not single wink in the past week. Its not doing me any good. My digestion is all screwy and I have such a head ache.

Gildypoo has been great though, despite nerves. He always tries to make me feel better. He's such a darling. Last night he dotted candles all around his room and brought food in for a romantic supper for a change. We so rarely get that chance anymore. He wore those beautiful lavender robes of his which just, well... wow. Always leaves me stunned. I don't know what he had done, but he just looked so amazing. His eyes gave off this wonderful sparkle just as if, if he blinked, stars would fall from them. Sounds corny I know, but it is the only way I can describe it.

Stayed in his room all night anyway. Regardless of how spooky the castle had been lately, it was magical. I actually felt safe.

After eating we sat on the bed and just talked for ages. Some things I don't think I'll mention, because certain things were far too romantic and you would need a bucket or two and others... well... Not suitable for certain peoples ears, if you know what I mean.

Christmas is the set date. It will all be arranged for then. Its going to be on the quiet as we first spoke about, only family there and a few close friends... Nothing more. He is more excited than me I think. He keeps calling me Rachel Lockhart by mistake in classes and the students just look bewildered.

I'm getting better at classes now. I was able to actually teach the class the other day while Gilderoy nipped out to Diagon alley for book signings or something. He came back all flustered, his hair messed up and a couple of tears in his robes. I asked him what on earth had happened and he told me the crowd had got pretty wild. Some woman had even ripped a tuft of hair from his head which he was simply mortified over and insisted on wearing a hat to cover it, even though there was hardly a bare patch in sight.

The past few days have been ok, in a way. Weather has been nicer than I thought it was going to be. The sun is actually out right now... Wish I was outside instead of being sat here in this office waiting for some students to see me. Just got about half an hour left till I can have free time.

Gilderoy says he wants to call into my office quickly this evening before bed time. I have decided, you see, to sleep alone to try and get over my fear of whatever is lurking around. He doesn't think its a good idea, but I think that we can't always be together, not here at least. There is always the chance of being separated. He decided to express his concerns in the most melodramatic way over dinner. The students wondered what was going on, not to mention the other staff. I about sank into my seat.

But, my gosh what a wonderful job of concealing this relationship we are doing. We have class, we separate and then meet for lunch later on. Sit in our assigned seats, talk about normal things with the occasional glance or gesture when we are sure no one is looking. Part ways again till evening, when either he visits me, or I visit him. Usually if someone spots us, we make sure we have a cover story about the class. No lies, just a good cover up.

I keep having this song stuck in my head. I remember back at home in our lovely muggle house we used to watch films as a family. One in particular springs to mind called Evita starring some Muggle singer. I couldn't get into it myself, but one of the songs won't leave my head and every time it appears inside it reminds me of Gilderoy. One line in particular "I'd be surprisingly good for you". Deary me... I must be going soft. Every love song makes me giddy.

Anyway. I had better get going. Just about to see a Hufflepuff.

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