December 23rd

December 23rd

Mood - Yeesh...

(Note to self:

Remember that nothing ever surprises you anymore. )

So, today’s the day of the dress, as I call it. I admit, I am somewhat nervous. I have never even thought about how I want it to look, let alone attempt to try any on. But, then there’s the fact that they might not even have any TO try on. They like to custom make their clothes around here. For all I know, it could just be a consultation, measuring moment and material choice. Anyway, breakfast time. I’ll finish this later...

OK, back. So, I went to the great hall for something to eat and somehow managed to get it all down my clean clothes. Thankfully, Minerva said that there was enough time for me to change, so I legged it back to my room and threw on something different. I made sure to give the dirty clothes a nice death stare on the way out. For some reason Gilderoy was not present at breakfast. I was a touch worried. Thankfully, Minerva informed me that all was well and he hadn’t killed himself. Haha.

We set off for the store anyway. It was nice. I had always liked Minerva, as she has a kind nature and isn’t too judgmental like a lot of people are. We had some really nice conversations. She asked about my family, how life used to be like and that sort of thing, until finally switching the subject to the current situation. I confided in her and expressed how nervous I was and she gave me a small smile and told me that she is not surprised. She asked if I was truly happy with Gilderoy and I had to say I was. Well, it’s true. I am very happy. I feel like I can trust him and we just click so well.

Anyway, enough blabbering about that. It’s the store I want to tell you about. It was great. And I was right. It was a measurement appointment. They took my measurements and I looked over some fabrics and style ideas. There were so many lovely ones that it was so difficult to pick just one. But, I eventually came to my decision and I went for a classic look. A line, old style wedding gown with lace overlay going up to capped sleeves and a thin band just under the bust line. I’m really looking forward to seeing it. I hope he can make it in the time we have left!

We left the store and walked slowly back to Hogwarts, discussing plans. She wanted to know about what was planned for the wedding. Well, what could I honestly tell her? I had no idea! Gilderoy was the one arranging it all. I had actually not heard a peep from him about it. It suddenly made me stress again. She patted me on the back and reassured me that it will all be OK. That was all I needed... I felt a little better.

She then escorted me to see the headmaster. Obviously he would be attending to oversee for OBVIOUS reasons, so I needed to discuss it. What little I actually knew about it. We arrived and Snape was there, his arms folded. Thankfully, Minerva came with and stood by me as I spoke to Dumbledore. I was still getting the heebies from Snape, so I was thankful. We explained that it was Gilderoy he needed to see. He then requested that Minerva go and get him so that he could discuss it better, so she ended up leaving me on my own in Dumbledore’s office with Snape. Bah.

Oddly, Dumbledore just stood there and said nothing. I asked if anything was the matter and he suddenly blurted out an odd question. “How are things between you two then, Severus?” He was gesturing towards me! I instantly frowned and asked what the heck he meant. I couldn’t help it, I felt a little awkward about such a question. It was then he asked me to sit down. So, naturally, I obliged. I sat down and waited for him to explain what he meant. “It must be interesting for you to have a relative in the castle.”

What!?

I turned to look at Snape, then back at Dumbledore. No, surely he was joking. I think my face said it all, because he answered me without me even having to ask a question. “You and Severus are related, child.”

Eeegh. My poor head... Snape walked over just as Gilderoy had arrived with Minerva in toe.

Dumbledore also asked him to be seated and went ahead and explained it. I thought I was there for wedding talk! DAMN IT! Apparently, I am related through my father’s side. It appears as if Snape was the son of one of my father’s sisters. Yeah... I know. I feel buggered up by it. Ugh.

I looked at Gilderoy, to Dumbledore, to Minerva, to Snape and back to Dumbledore again. “You’re serious?” Snape placed a hand on my shoulder. “Dumbledore is quite serious. Now maybe you will understand my reasons and motives?” He raised an eyebrow at me and looked at Gilderoy, narrowing his eyes. He was all “And you had better take care of this one, or there shall be dire consequences.” Wait... He knew TOO!? Holy cow. Dumbledore thankfully explained that he had informed Severus after finding out the family tie, as he would like for him to accompany him to the wedding. Being a relation and all. Also, I have no one to give me away. You know... After disowning that heap of junk that’s called Dad. I suppose it’s not all that bad.

Gilderoy nodded in agreement and stood, offering his hand out to Snape saying that he swears it and that he had already stated it in the talk he had with him previously. A prev... What? I just blurted out “So you knew too” at him and he nodded at me. Joy... I just LOVE being in the dark. Pah! I have NO idea how he knew. I guess I will ask him tomorrow.

Dumbledore continued with the meeting and requested that Gilderoy told him where the wedding was being held. He looked at me as if I shouldn’t even know. Charming. Well, I guess one more surprise wouldn’t hurt, so I rolled my eyes and covered my ears. It pleased him and amused Minerva.

Snape kept staring at Gilderoy like a vulture waiting for a lion to finish chewing on a carcass. If it’s like thie now, what will it be like at the wedding? Yeesh. I hope it’s better.

I’m not sure if Minerva will be going or not. A lot of students won’t be at Hogwarts over the Christmas period, but a few still remain behind. Who knows. In one way, I hope she attends. I especially hope Gilderoy remembered to invite my family, or at least my mother and brother. I guess I’ll find out in a few days.

Well, the meeting ended by Dumbledore assuring us that he will be in attendance to act as a witness and that Snape will be accompanying him. After that, we all went separate ways back to our rooms.

What a crazy day. My poor head...

December 22nd

Mood - Scared

(Note to self:
Find out what is going on and STILL calm down! )


I had my snack and I spoke to Minerva. I walked up to her, she had the same snack idea as me, and said: "I am in need of a counsillor..." How about that for irony? Well, regardless, she was very kind and considerate. I told her everything. Every detail. IN detail! I was surprised by her reaction if I'm honest. She seemed very passive about it, as if it was not big deal. Not in a bad way though... I think she was probably thinking about me and my already shattered nerves.

She gave me some wonderful advice and told me that she would indeed help me with as much as she could.

Oh lord, I'm so scared. But, at least thats ONE worry off my chest. PHEW!

We will be heading to a special shop tomorrow she knows of who apparently do the most amazing wedding attire for females. I'm quite looking forward to it, as I feel a bit depressed my Mom isn't here to help. I don't feel quite so alone now, at least.

I am wondering whats going to be happening though. I hardly know anything about the wedding plans. I guess I'll just have to trust Gildy-poo. Heehee. I just hope he's sorted everything and hasn't done something stupid, like zapping himself with some memory charm. He's daft enough to do something like that. I'll probably ask him tonight about it all. Last thing I want is everything else to worry about on top of my dress and... god knows what else. Oh boy.

December 21st

Mood - Oh god, oh god, oh god.

(Note to self:
Tell Minerva, get dress, calm down! )


Boy, am I getting tired of Mr. Draco Malfoy! He makes everybody miserable. Students, teachers. YOU BLOODY NAME IT! But, has he been punished? No! He has not! That student finally came (And I finally got my breakfast after too. Yay.) and it turned out he was ANOTHER victim of Malfoy and his gang of idiots.

Well, this is the last straw... I'm going to see Snape today if its the last thing I do! I have to get this sorted out now. Its beyond a joke.

That little rant over, I guess I should get on with more pressing issues.

When am I going to get my dress!? Argh! It hit me this morning, its only a few days until... Until... You know! The big day. And I have no dress! What am I going to do? Walk down the aisle naked? Oh yes, that would be lovely. (I know Gilderoy wouldn't give a monkeys, but that is besides the point.) "Ok folks! Its time for the first dance!" "Oh yes, that would be lovely, let me remove the confetti from out my butt first!"

I've been considering telling someone. Maybe Minerva. Minerva is such a good friend. I think I will, maybe she can help me look for a dress. I only hope I'm doing the right thing. The last thing I want is for such information to get out to OTHER people. I'm not saying she is a blabbermouth, but people DO talk. Its a fact of life. She confides in Dumbledore, for example. Nah. I know he wouldn't blab. He's a good man.

I'm still giggling to myself about the whole thing. When the invites were sent out, I had a reply or two from family members asking me if "It was too soon". I must admit, it has been playing on my mind for the past few days and especially at night time. But, when I think about it... Sure, it seems like a fast thing, but it feels right. And to be honest, I don't have time for doubts. So, I have decided to cast them aside (The doubts I mean) and just smile. Smile if my stomach churns. Smile if my head fuzzes up. Smile if my god damned relatives, who don't really care for me anyway I might add and are there only for the free food, can't stand the idea and moan all wedding long.

4 days. 4 DAYS!? Oh gods! There's not enough time to prepare is there!? Not even mentally! Oh lordy, I have to calm down here. I think I'm going to head to the Great Hall for a snack. Snacks calm me down. Yes. Yes that's it. That's what I'll do. Then I'll go to see Minerva. YES! Then I can tell her about the whole thing and I won't be alone. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

How do I get myself into these bloody situations!?

December 19th & 20th

Mood - Hungry

(Note to self:
Next time one is out shopping, use a transformation spell and turn yourself into a warty old hag!)



"If music be the food of love, play on..."

Oh, don't worry about me. I just got hold of a really nice gramophone and I'm listening to some seriously good symphonies.

Went shopping, as promised, with Sir Preen-a-lot. He was wearing a remarkably beautiful deep purple outfit with gold buttons down the front. It has to be said, he does have astoundingly good taste. That is, if one ignores all knowledge of his secret hot pink outfit. But, due to the fact that we were going to be in public and we didn't want to be disturbed by fans, he had to wear a very wide-brimmed hat. (Of a matching design I might add. Naturally.)

Anyway, we walked into the shop where he was to buy his outfit and browsed the garments on offer. There was this beautiful duck egg blue outfit with a matching silk sash. It had silver trimmings and a very fancy looking design embroidered on the cuffs. Its just a shame that he didn't really think it was suitable. I WAS, however, secretly glad when he put it to one side and bought it for dinner occasions. I can't wait to see him in it! (Or otherwise. Heehee.)

After much faffing around, he found what he was looking for. I nearly jumped out of my skin! I was just looking through some lovely blue outfits for him (They had everything sorted by colour in there), when all of a sudden I hear this frightfully loud noise come from his direction that sounded something like "EUREKA!" I was worried that he was being attacked or something by the way he shouted it, but then again, I guess I should be used to his moments of clothing-related hysteria by now, shouldn't I?

Walked over to where he was stood, only to be shoved back to where I was! I wasn't allowed to see what he was going to buy! I complained, of course. I told him he was a nit-wit and that it was tradition for the bride to hide her dress, not the groom, only to realize that the shop keeper was staring at us with wide eyes. Whoops! That had torn it. Me and my big mouth!

The shop keeper leaned forwards on his counter with his tape measure handing off his neck demanding to know if it was true. Gilderoy, who was actually being a little quick-witted for a bloody change, grinned nervously, flailed his arms and said "Oh no, no, good chap! I, er... I'm buying for a friend of mine. Well, he's no friend, actually he's my brother. Not that my brother isn't my friend, but still. I'm trying it on in his stead. We are exactly the same size don't you know." I interrupted by running over and shoving Gilderoy into the changing room. That was a rare quick-witted moment, but by the gods, did he go on and on! And, he would have gone on even longer had I not I bundled him into that changing room sooner.

However, it was up to me then. With Mr Ego out of the picture, the shop keeper turned his attention to, in his words, "Miss Bride". How do I get myself into these situations!? Its only since I met Mr I-feel-pretty that I've found myself in the middle of such messes! I knew I should have used a transformation spell or something. Turned into some old wart-encrusted hag. If the shop keeper was busy puking in the nearest toilet due to my foul looks, he wouldn't ask so many damn questions would he, hah! But, noooo. It wasn't like that. It was just me, stood there in my black cloak, blinking slowly and virtually being interrogated by the shop keeper, who was quite obviously starved of any good gossip.

After Gilderoy's last comment before he was drop-kicked away, the shop keeper looked at me though slitted eyes. He didn't believe a word Lockhart had said. Not a single, solitary word. So, what could I say when he asked me if it was all true? I couldn't lie, because I don't believe in lying. I just stood there and smiled nervously, only to be met with loud cheering. I insisted he kept quiet about it and I was rather surprised when he agreed. Lets just hope he is as good at keeping promises as he was at making clothes!

After a while of mild hysteria, lots of odd noises came from the changing room until a shout was heard for the shop keepers assistance. Turned out he was posing in the mirror to see if it suited him and needed his opinion. So, after a heck of a lot of "Are you sure?" and "It doesn't make me look fat, does it?", oh and not to mention "Does it give me too big a wedgie?" (Which, I must admit, made me giggle a lot), we finally walked out of the shop. It was a good job too. I was getting roasting.

Suddenly, a little way down, Gilderoy stopped in the middle of the street clutched at his bag with a grin on his mush. I was all "Whats up with you?" and so he grabbed my arm and literally dragged me to the shop across the way saying "You don't think I forgot our deal, do you?"

"Ding-a-ling", went the bell as I vaulted through the door in a highly confused manner. I stood there disoriented while he approached the counter. After my eyes had focused properly, I looked around the shop. Wands. Lots of wands. Oh god yes! He promised me a new wand if I helped him. Oh joy! It didn't take long for him to make a purchase. We were in and out in a flash when I think about it. Especially compared to the time spent in the clothes shop.

After we had finished in Diagon Alley, we headed back to the school and had dinner in the great hall. We were nearly severely pelted with potato skins, as the Slytherin yobs decided to have a food fight mid-meal. Little brats.

A little while later, Snape stomped his way into the hall, only to be hit in the face by a projectile. Much ranting, raving and detention giving ensued.

Great. He was in a bad mood before, but when they did that... Hoo boy. And to make matters worse he was walking our way. He got nearer the table and Gilderoy turned his head in another direction and pretended that he hadn't noticed him. God, that man can't act to save his life. I was more courteous at least. I just smiled slightly and said hello. To be honest, I don't think he had even noticed that we were sat there until I greeted him. He almost leaped backwards in shock! And after a hello from him, which was actually more of a nervous smile, he plonked himself down in his seat and chewed on what ever it was that was in front of him.

Gilderoy whispered something in my ear about how weird Snape was. It was quite loud, so I told him to shush. Last thing we needed was more things to irritate the man. It has to be said though, he WAS acting mighty strange. Mind you, he acted a bit strange this morning. You see, before I went to Diagon Alley, Snape asked me to 'babysit' the Slytherin yobs. He actually caught me on my way out, but thankfully it only took a few minutes for him to return. Anyway, that's besides the point. He seemed a bit distant, or nervous around me or something. I was always under the impression that he was a hard-case, but all the evidence I've seen lately has always been to the contrary.

I still can't believe I had to babysit those little buggers! All I got was comments about what I was wearing. I was wearing the black coat and black cloak I wore to the shops and they kept comparing me to a certain potions master. Grr. "Mrs Snape". Ugh. They really annoy me. They think they can say and do anything they want to and it really gets up my nose. I have no idea how Severus puts up with them. I really don't. Hey! I just called him Severus. Hah! I never do that. That's weird...

Anyway, back to the Great Hall, Gilderoy whispering potentially offensive comments about Snape uncomfortably loud and Snape himself being a distant oddball. A group of Gryffindor lads walked in the room shouting and laughing. So, what do you think happened? Yes, that's right. "SHUT UP, OR ITS DETENTION FOR THE LOT OF YOU!" It soon went quiet. Haha.

Gilderoy had finished snacking on his... What ever that was that he was eating (It looked like a mashed up pear with mustard all over it), long before I had finished with my meal. He stood up and announced (with the cliched pointing finger I might add) "Well, must dash! I have a class to teach!" Snape groaned and chewed even harder on his item of food. So, Sir Smex winked at me and mouthed a "See you later, sweetheart", before bounding off to his classroom.

All was silent again. I hate silence at times. Its nice when you are relaxing, but in a social situation, its bloody murder! I'd had enough. Time to boldly go where no man had gone before! OK, that was a bit of an exaggeration. Actually, all I did was ask Snape how he was. I think that surprised him too, because he stopped eating and was frozen to the spot for a few seconds, before turning his head slowly to face me. Well, I had to try to stifle my giggles. He had a purple blob right on the end of his nose! Haha! Finally he spoke. I say finally, because if he had have been silent any longer I would have fallen off my seat! He told me that he was fine all thing considered and that he wanted to thank me for the kind deed this morning. A few Slytherins had wandered in and heard him say that, only to look gone out at us both. Needless to say, we both shot them the look of death.

Well, I had just about had it. I couldn't take it any longer. I HAD to tell him about his nose. So I said: "Er, you have purple on you." He frowned at me and was all "I beg your pardon?" So, I scooted over to the seat next to him and poked him on the end of his nose and showed him the purple on the end of my finger that had transferred. Well, did his face look a picture. Hah! (I still can't believe I did that.) He finally, after much shocked blinking, realized what I was talking about and wiped off the purple with a napkin.

I asked him if he had eaten the purple veggie rolls, to which he replied "Yes." Haha. It was no wonder he had himself a purple facial mishap then. They are infamous for it. It actually turned out that it was the first time he had tried them. He said that he avoids anything with such vibrant colouration usually, but had noticed that I ate a lot of them and so he had decided to give them a try. Apparently, facial issues aside, he actually rather enjoyed them. Success! There's something for the Daily Prophet! I can see it now:

"SNAPE ENJOYS PURPLE VEGGIE ROLLS!"

The Wizarding world is shocked to find out that the grumpy Severus Snape actually LIKES something!

I sat there a bit longer, only to suddenly have a full blown conversation with him! I was shocked! He actually spoke to me like a normal person would. Not that he isn't normal. Oh god. It is a good job he will never read this, haha.

We were talking about some random thing like spells and things of that nature. He was saying that not long after I left, one of the Slytherin lads nearly killed himself. He tried to curse one of the girls and failed. He said that it was a good job I left when I did or it could have been me. Yeek. What a horrible thought.

As he was telling me, there was something I noticed about him that really knocked me for six. His face looked similar to my families faces. It was his eyes mainly, oh and his nose too. To be honest, it is no wonder that the students keep comparing us. We actually look quite similar. Only... I'm female and... He is older. Much older. Oh god, I hope he never reads this! Haha.

I actually told Gilderoy about my discovery later on that afternoon while we were snug in his office. (I wont go into detail as to how we got there and what we did in between me talking to Snape and me and Lockhart ending up snug in his office.) The toe rag only turned around and said: "Well, yes. I had noticed, but I didn't want to alarm you." That's charming isn't it? Haha... So, I got him back by asking him if it bothered him that he was going to marry the "female Snape". He just stood there, turned his head and looked at me with wide eyes. He did look a sight. For a moment, I was scared he was going to back out and dump me or something, but was relieved when he ran over and dived on me.

Anyway, its morning now. Nearly 8 o'clock actually. I'm sat in my office waiting for the next student to tell me about their issues. Already had one. Another scared Hufflepuff. They virtually banged my door down and I had to get up in my night gown! It was 4 in the morning. They shouldn't have even been wandering the corridors at that hour! But, ho-hum. That's duty. Lots of talking about being scared. Mucho comfort. Jobs a good 'un. Bobs your uncle. (Actually, no Andrew is.)

So, here I am. Bored to tears and randomly doodling on a piece of paper at the same time as writing this.

Oh, how I love my new wand! It is beautiful. He bought me only the finest wand in stock, naturally. Sorry, that was a bit random wasn't it? Well, what do you expect when you are bored and have to wait for breakfast!

Oh, I have to go. They are FINALLY here.

November 23rd to December 18th!?

Mood - Ill, so irritated.

(Note to self:
Remind Hufflepuffs to wear rubber underwear when talking about current events on the couches.)


Yes, yes. I know its a big bloody gap, but I can't help it. Its been one thing after a-bloody-nother. Colds, bad spells, attacks. Plus I got bored of writing. I was doing too much of it during the day with my so called 'patients'. No idea WHY they have to be classed as a patient. I'm not a sodding doctor.

Anyway. First things first! Colds. I've had one bout of flu after another. It has been unbearable! I think everyone calls me 'Snotface' now. Bah. Today is no different really. I feel a little better, but I'm starting to get a bit sniffly. I'm worse in the morning and at night, so Pomfrey has given me this weird potion to drink to stop my nose from running all the time. I had better take some really, hadn't I?

Ah. Thats better. Whats next? Ah, yes. Bad spells... If you think that being zapped and your hair turning into snakes is your idea of fun, then go seek out the Slytherin lot. I won't go into details, but I don't really appreciate snake bites on the ears. It comes mighty keen! Oh and then there is the 'Never-stop Dance Spell'. My feet were so sore that day. It was a good job Dumbledore knew how to reverse it. I don't think I'll ever dance again! The thought of it makes me queasy...

Due to all the attacks and what-not, a Duelling Club has been formed. Its quite interesting to be honest and it looks so much fun! Gilderoy was actually allowed to set it up. After all... I think he might be the best man for the job, considering all his past experiences. I was told to accompany him and observe as he taught the children how to defend themselves. I was supposed to be learning myself. Tsk.

The club was actually set up in the great hall. To be honest, I think its a good choice, as there is hardly any room elsewhere other than outside and I don't really think that its a wise idea to duel in snow and rain and wind... Oohh. I'm shivering just thinking about it! Brr!

Getting sidetracked there... Back to business. Got to the great hall and there was a huge crowd of students waiting there. I managed to weave my way through them and stood just in front of the table. (They had converted one of the huge tables into a safe surface to duel on you see.) Lockhart got up onto the table using the steps at the other end and walked his way up it asking if everyone could hear and see him. (How could they NOT!? Haha!)

He did look handsome though. Very, very handsome. He was wearing a lovely outfit just for the occasion and a gorgeous cape that he... Sigh... Threw into the crowd. A bunch of girls caught it and giggled as if they were about to bloody faint! (I'm rolling my eyes right now, but obviously you't see it.) Such a waste! He looked lovely in that cape...

I gave him a quick smile as he walked by me. He was just explaining about the club and what it was for and, as was his style, he just had to plug his written works at the end. Haha! (I still can't believe he did all of those things! I'm am in awe of the man. He is the most brave person I know and I am so proud of him.) Then, much to my surprise, he announced he had a helper. And who was it? None other than Severus! I nearly fell through the floor. Had he actually agreed to this WILLINGLY!? Wow. Life is certainly full of surprises.

Gilderoy, after welcoming him onto the floor, attempted to ease any worries of the students by telling them that they will still have their potions master after he was through. I was more worried about his safety than Snapes. I knew that Snape was not known for holding back and it was no secret that he wasn't very fond of Lockhart. With this in mind, I mouthed a quick 'Be careful' to him. Without even breaking the sentence he was saying, Gilderoy managed to add a 'Never fear' to the end and gave me a reassuring wink. (I just hope that it wasn't noticed by too many people.)

Anyway. On with the show. Haha. The two began... Lockhart counting from one to three. The only problem was, as soon as he'd said three, Snape cast a spell instantly, which sent poor Gildy-poo flying across the room. The poor guy landed pretty hard on his back at the other end of the table. I just wanted to run over and see if he was ok, but... Well, I couldn't could I? I just watched him in horror instead. I just hoped he hadn't broken anything. But, to my relief, he got up and waltzed his way over to Snape with his pride seriously dented. He said something about how it was obvious he was going to do that and how he could have stopped the attack if he'd wanted to. Well, Snape wasn't exactly impressed by that statement. I could tell he thought it was total, egotistical dog-eggs just by how his eyes narrowed and his mouth did that up and down thing it does when he wasn't very pleased. Instead of ripping into Gilderoy, however, he simply said that he thought it would be prudent to first teach the students how to block unfriendly spells. After which, he gave an odd smirk that seriously confused me. It confused me even more when Lockhart smirked back! (Those two are a bloody mystery at times...)

Two students were told to get on the table and duel. However, I don't think it was a good idea, as it was Harry and Draco. Pfft! Needless to say, all kinds of nasties ensued, including the two blasting each other to bits and Draco casting a snake spell. Now, I like snakes, but I don't think the students share my enthusiasm for them. Snape offered to get rid of it, but Gilderoy said he would. The nit did nothing more than flip it in the air and irritate it. Hah! Then, of all the strange things to happen, Harry started talking to it in some strange language. Snape soon got rid of it and everyone was dismissed.

Got back to my office and Gilderoy followed. He seemed a tad flustered about something, but I wasn't really sure what. I naturally came to the conclusion that he didn't care much for snakes and was still a bit jumpy from one being so close to him. But, surely he wasn't scared of snakes... Not after all he's faced! Anywho, I told him the club was fun and that I wouldn't mind having a go sometime. He smiled at me, seemingly calming down and said that we'd have to have our own private sessions. He also told me he was a fan of non-magical duelling. That muggle sport, Fencing. He said he teach me that too. I'm really looking forward to it, if I'm honest.

Today I woke up feeling quite cheerful, even though I don't feel very well. I had my breakfast and saw some students. Things were going fine really... That was until later in the day. It was one thing after another!

Which brings me to the next subject... Attacks. As I am writing this all hell is breaking loose. Another lad was petrified today along with one of our resident ghosts. Justin Finch-Fletchley and Nearly-Headless Nick. So, as you can tell... I'm not only ill, but very scared too. What if I'm next? I know I shouldn't think, or talk like that, but I can't help it! You have to sometimes.

As for getting bored. As I say. I have had so much writing to do during the day, the idea of writing even more makes my fingers want to flee my hand. There have been so many pupils come to me for help lately, what with the attacks and all. They are so frightened. The profs want to keep it as hush-hush as they can, but its obvious the students know and its weighing heavilly on their minds. I've had two Hufflepuffs wet their pants just talking about it! (My poor couches...)

Anyway. Tomorrow is another day. (Hopefully, a more brighter one than today was. It chucked it down with rain.)

Gilderoy is starting with the plans for the 'you-know-what-day'. He insists I join him in his hunt for the perfect outfit. (What about my dress!? I need to shop for that yet!) He promised he would buy me a new wand if I helped him, so I guess its not all that bad. ;)

I'm out. Night night. Tired. Sleep. Yawn...

November 23rd

Mood - Cold and miserable... Bah!

(Note to self:
Hufflepuff's are prone to bouts of incessant whining.)


Hmph. Hufflepuffs. All they ever seem to do is whine. I just don't get them! Maybe I seem to bring out the worst in them or something. Mind you, I HAVE been feeling groggy myself lately. Perhaps its one of those contagious periods of gloom.

I won't go into what the silly Hufflepuff wanted to talk to me about, as it would, quite frankly, bore you to sodding tears. I was happy when they finally up and left so I could eat my lemon cheesecake... They had been in my office for two and a half yawn-inducing hours!

Then, who should poke their head round the door but that obnoxious little bugger Draco Malfoy. He thought it would be funny to just prance his way around my office and pick up everything in sight offering his opinion. Naturally, I asked what on earth he wanted, but he didn't respond. He had obviously just stopped by to stir thing up. He had heard that I was quite angry with him about his behavior towards the other students and, I think, this must have been his way of 'getting one over on me' or something daft.

I must have sat there with the biggest frown on my face. Then, to my horror, what should he find underneath a book on the table? Gilderoy's handkerchief! Of course, he just looked at me waving it around. I just growled at him and told him to give it back, but the little bugger ran off waving it triumphantly above his head laughing in an evil manner.

I just sat back in my seat. I was far to tired and cranky to care at that point and to top it all off the weather had decided to make a very fast turn around and it was icy cold and raining!

Well, that was it. I'd had enough. I just shut up my office and stormed out into the great hall. Little did I know things were about to get even MORE cringeworthy.

Two Slytherin students were doing impressions of me and Gilderoy while Draco waved the handkerchief around!

I thanked the gods about a thousand times when Snape arrived and shouted at them all. Only thing was, he got hold of the handkerchief. He stood there looking at it a while, then looked up and nodded a hello at me before turning on his heels and walking off. I expected a bit more of a reaction, but it seemed he didn't know where they had got the item from. I was safe for a little while at least.

After eating something I went back to my office and saw two Gryffindor lads, then in the evening after tea Gilderoy came to check up on me. He peered round the door and grinned an overly enthusiastic smile coupled with a cheeky little giggle. Lord knows what was up with him. Maybe he'd been at the firewhiskey again or something...

Sat and talked a little while, then he decided to head to bed. Had an early class the following morning and we both needed our sleep.

That's when it hit me. Me... Alone in my room... I was simply petrified. (Not literally thankfully.)

That's why my writing looks a bit off. My hands are shaking.

Well, I better get some rest if I can... Night!

November 15th to November 22nd

Mood - Light and fluffy

(Note to self:
Try to get that Evita song out your head ASAP!)

Scaryness abounds still. I must have bags under my eyes the size of Gilderoy's clothing collection... No sleep at all. Well, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, since I was able to drop off for 3 hours last night, but other than that... Not single wink in the past week. Its not doing me any good. My digestion is all screwy and I have such a head ache.

Gildypoo has been great though, despite nerves. He always tries to make me feel better. He's such a darling. Last night he dotted candles all around his room and brought food in for a romantic supper for a change. We so rarely get that chance anymore. He wore those beautiful lavender robes of his which just, well... wow. Always leaves me stunned. I don't know what he had done, but he just looked so amazing. His eyes gave off this wonderful sparkle just as if, if he blinked, stars would fall from them. Sounds corny I know, but it is the only way I can describe it.

Stayed in his room all night anyway. Regardless of how spooky the castle had been lately, it was magical. I actually felt safe.

After eating we sat on the bed and just talked for ages. Some things I don't think I'll mention, because certain things were far too romantic and you would need a bucket or two and others... well... Not suitable for certain peoples ears, if you know what I mean.

Christmas is the set date. It will all be arranged for then. Its going to be on the quiet as we first spoke about, only family there and a few close friends... Nothing more. He is more excited than me I think. He keeps calling me Rachel Lockhart by mistake in classes and the students just look bewildered.

I'm getting better at classes now. I was able to actually teach the class the other day while Gilderoy nipped out to Diagon alley for book signings or something. He came back all flustered, his hair messed up and a couple of tears in his robes. I asked him what on earth had happened and he told me the crowd had got pretty wild. Some woman had even ripped a tuft of hair from his head which he was simply mortified over and insisted on wearing a hat to cover it, even though there was hardly a bare patch in sight.

The past few days have been ok, in a way. Weather has been nicer than I thought it was going to be. The sun is actually out right now... Wish I was outside instead of being sat here in this office waiting for some students to see me. Just got about half an hour left till I can have free time.

Gilderoy says he wants to call into my office quickly this evening before bed time. I have decided, you see, to sleep alone to try and get over my fear of whatever is lurking around. He doesn't think its a good idea, but I think that we can't always be together, not here at least. There is always the chance of being separated. He decided to express his concerns in the most melodramatic way over dinner. The students wondered what was going on, not to mention the other staff. I about sank into my seat.

But, my gosh what a wonderful job of concealing this relationship we are doing. We have class, we separate and then meet for lunch later on. Sit in our assigned seats, talk about normal things with the occasional glance or gesture when we are sure no one is looking. Part ways again till evening, when either he visits me, or I visit him. Usually if someone spots us, we make sure we have a cover story about the class. No lies, just a good cover up.

I keep having this song stuck in my head. I remember back at home in our lovely muggle house we used to watch films as a family. One in particular springs to mind called Evita starring some Muggle singer. I couldn't get into it myself, but one of the songs won't leave my head and every time it appears inside it reminds me of Gilderoy. One line in particular "I'd be surprisingly good for you". Deary me... I must be going soft. Every love song makes me giddy.

Anyway. I had better get going. Just about to see a Hufflepuff.